How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.

- Little Orphan Annie

At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person.

Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.

- Albert Schweitzer

Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude.

- Denis Waitley

If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, "thank you," that would suffice.

- Meister Eckhart

This article is excerpted from Connie's Blog article, "On Loss, Gratitude. and Moving On", published August 30, 2009. To read the complete text, click on the link below.

Last week, the following quote came across my desk:

"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."
-Little Orphan Annie

This was the theme quote that Life Coach Cheryl Richardson cited in her Week 35 Newsletter, published August 24th. The theme of her newsletter is "Saying Goodbye: Learning to Let Go." It is well worth reading.

This quote instantly brought home to me the connection between loss and gratitude. When we let go of something or someone in our life (willingly or not), the depth of the loss or grief we experience is directly related to the depth of the positive connection we had with it. And in that connection, there are many gifts - benefits, joys, lessons, memories, pleasures - associated with it.

When we lose something that we have treasured, we go through many stages of grief. I have written about the grieving process in a previous Blog article, Emotional Transitions: Loss and Grief, published in 2008. The final stage in the grieving process is Acceptance. And one of the things that helps us into and through Acceptance, and beyond, is Gratitude. Because the truth is that the deeper the felt loss, the more gifts or blessings have come to us from that which was lost, and therefore the more we have to be grateful for.

The true healing after a loss comes when we can look beyond the sorrow or inconvenience of our loss and appreciate what we had.

Each time we experience a loss - especially one that moves us deeply - we can understand, as Little Orphan Annie did in the opening quote, that if we are deeply feeling the loss of someone or something it is because we had a special connection with, or relationship to, it. If it was hard to lose, it must have been very good or special when we had it. And in the recognizing of this - in the counting of our blessings - comes the healing and the gifts that can never be taken from us. And with this, we can move on.

1. Say "thank you" as often as you can, to as many people as you can (including yourself).
2. Take time to notice and appreciate the people, places, and things around you - especially the ones you have begun to take for granted.
3. Keep a Gratitude Journal and make at least 5 entries into it every day.
4. Count your blessings each night as you go to sleep and/or each morning as you awaken.
5. Bless your food at every meal, in whatever way you feel comfortable - silent or aloud, alone or with others, saying a familiar prayer or a few words that you make up each time.
6. Bless and thank your body often for all the millions of things it does for you each minute of the day.
7. Meditate often on the blessings in your life.
8. Look for the gifts, lessons, and opportunities embedded in difficult or challenging times.
9. Write "thank you" notes, send thank you emails, and place thank-you post-its around your home or office.
10. Sing songs of thanks and praise.

This classic song, first made famous by Bob Hope and Shirley Ross, reminds us of all the small and grand moments that make up a life, a partnership, or a marriage - so many things to be grateful for.

Enjoy!

• Count Your Blessings: The Healing Power of Gratitude and Love by John F. Demartini. Hay House, 2006.
• Gratitude: A Daily Journal by Jack Canfield and D.D. Watkins. Health Communications, 2007.
• Gratitude: A Way of Life by Louise L. Hay. Hay House, 1996.
• On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler. Scribner, 2007.
• Thanks! How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier by Robert Emmons. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2007.

Connie's Blog article, On Loss, Gratitude, and Moving On, was cited in the Gratitude Watch section of the Web site, The Meaning of Existance [and all that]: The Curmugeon's Guide to Spirituality by Daniel Brenton.

This is a fascinating site, filled with resources on the subject of Gratitude and other topics.

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